More Than A Mistress, Chapter Two

Things are already heating up ... by the end of Chapter Two, our Bold Heroine is already trying to get Devilish Duke into bed!  I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING.

So as Devilish Duke heads off home to see his doctor about his wounded leg, perspective shifts and we get to learn the heroine's name.  It's Jane Ingleby, and Mary Balogh does some extremely skillful exposition where we learn that Jane is broke, alone, recently arrived in London, and only tenuously employed, all in the space of only one sentence.  Nice!  (I mean the exposition is nice, not the situation for our heroine.)  We also find out that Jane has been feeling paralyzing fear for "other reasons" not relating to her money woes.  Perhaps these reasons are why she has fled to London?  Two pages later, this seems to be confirmed as Jane reflects that "perhaps even now she was being hunted."  By whom, or why, is as yet a MYSTERY.

Could Jane be a higher-class woman than she is pretending to be?  Apparently she is trying "to disappear into the relatively anonymous world of the working class."  She also reflects how "women of the lower classes [are] so utterly powerless, so totally without any right to respect".  If she is actually a Lady of good standing, it would explain why she is so bold and arrogant and has this compulsive habit of standing up for herself.  We'll have to wait and see.

Jane loses her dismal job at the millinery, which she has held for two days, because she is late for work.  There's a bit where Jane's now-former boss is actually an interesting character, which is a nice surprise since we'll likely never see her again.  That's two points for good writing, Mary Balogh!  (And Val cheers quietly and grins widely and thinks I'll get hooked on romance novels yet.)  The same milliner character also gossips a bit about the Duke, noting not only that "he is the very devil himself" but also that he's well-hung: "no padding in them breeches, I would have you know!"  (How does she know?!)

On the flimsy and likely sarcastic promise that she could keep her job at the millinery if she produces a signed note from the Duke that he was the cause of her being late to work, Jane strides (the only possible means of locomotion for a bold heroine such as Jane) towards his house.  When she arrives, oh folly!  The butler mistakes her for the doctor's assistant, and quickly ushers her in to the Duke's bedroom, where he is awaiting his surgery!  The doctor thinks she is a servant, and gives up on waiting for his assistant, instead ordering Jane to help him.  The Duke recognizes Jane but has no time or presence of mind to speak up before surgery begins and rampant pain tears through his body.  Whee!  Farce!

Post-surgery, Jocelyn allows himself only a brief moment to enjoy Jane's tender care as she mops the sweat from his brow, then demands to know what she is doing there.  She requests the note for her employer, and though Jocelyn's friend Conan (seriously, how awesome is this) supports the request, he refuses.  She then insists that he provide employment for her as she simply "refuse[s] to starve."  Jocelyn, having just been told by his doctor that he must stay in bed and off his leg for three weeks - "he could not think of a worse fate", the narrative notes - agrees to hire Jane as his nurse.

The stage is now set.  Jane feels that Duke Jocelyn is the most "arrogant, bad-tempered, ill-mannered man" she's ever met.  Jocelyn feels that Jane is "the cause of all his woes".  These characters despise each other, and now they are going to spend three weeks together.  In romance novel terms, this is a foolproof recipe for hot sex.  The fact that one of them is bed-ridden is just icing on the cake.

A few other things happen in Chapter Two.  We find out that the Earl of Durbury is in London and staying at an expensive hotel.  He has hired a Bow Street Runner (Wikipedia describes these as London's first professional police force) to find a "green country girl" who has "as good as killed [his] son".  This dangerous criminal has also "run off with a fortune in money and jewels."  The Runner (Mick Boden) wants to know more about the particularities of this woman's crime, as well as her appearance, but we don't get to find out about that yet.  I'm guessing the murderess will have "golden hair" and "eyes a man could drown in".  If it is indeed Jane the Earl is looking for, my theory of her being a noblewoman is shot, as he describes her as a green country girl.

Also, Mary Balogh made me laugh twice in this chapter.  Behold:

Passage One:
[Jocelyn has been given quantities of alcohol, which function as anesthetic so the doctor can remove the bullet in his leg.]  "'f I drink more, th'old sawbones will have m'leg off b'fore I can protest."  His lips and tongue felt as if they did not quite belong to him.  So did his brain.

Passage Two:
"Who let you in?"  Jocelyn [demanded of Jane].
"Your butler, I suppose," she said.  "I told him I had come to speak with you, and he whisked me up here.  He said I was expected.  You may wish to advise him to greater caution about the people he admits.  I might have been anyone."
"You are anyone!" Jocelyn barked.

And now, as promised, the conclusion to Chapter Two.  Jocelyn and Jane set up a few rules of engagement. Jocelyn frowns at Jane, attempting to intimidate her as he lectures her on the fact that he is the master and she is the servant (foreshadowing?) and she must show respect at all times.  Jane responds by telling him not to swear in her presence, and also instructing him to call her Miss Ingleby instead of Jane.  Jocelyn, for some reason, does not beat her senseless at this point, but asks if she has any other requests for him.  She does:

'"Why are you not in bed?'"

Fin.

More Than a (Headless) Mistress

My friend Val pretty much dared me to read this book.  We are both voracious readers, but our tastes seem pretty divergent: she prefers Regency romance while I prefer contemporary fiction or mental health memoirs. Anyway, she is so excited about her favourite author, Mary Balogh, that she insisted I read one of her books.  The only one the library had when we happened to visit was this one, "More Than a Mistress".  I am immediately disturbed by the way the pictured Mistress has no head, seeming to belie the title's insistence that she is More Than a sexual, objectified body.

So, I've managed to read a whole ten pages so far (Val's insistence that the book would take me only a few hours failed to take into account the fact that I would prefer to read almost anything other than romance novels).  I figure if I hold myself accountable by posting reviews every few days, I'll have to keep reading, right?  Anyway, the plot of the book ... well, here's a link to the synopsis, and here's the absolutely shocking summary: a DUKE hires a SERVANT GIRL to be his NURSE.  She is BOLD.  He is DEVILISH.  Though LOVE was the last thing on their minds, GUESS WHAT HAPPENS: a PASSION that drives them to RISK EVERYTHING.  Also (not pictured): EYES that one could DROWN IN.

The book opens with the arrogant Duke about to fight a duel.  Turns out, he's been accused of sleeping with another man's wife, and the man demands satisfaction.  Whether the Duke did or didn't is not yet clear, but do the math: he is arrogant and devilish, after all.  The aforementioned servant girl with drown-hazard eyes bursts onto the scene at a crucial moment and stops the duel, for no reason other than she hates dueling, I guess?  While the Duke is distracted by her shout, his opponent shoots him in the leg, which allows the absolutely awesome outburst by one of the Duke's entourage: "Shame!  For shame, Oliver!"  This immediately conjured in my mind the weird custom we used as elementary school kids to indicate shame: holding out the pointer finger of one hand and "shaving" it with the pointer finger of the other hand.  I have no idea what this is supposed to mean but it kind of looks like you are peeling a carrot.  Do children still do this?

The Duke, despite being shot, stands his ground, and then, "as he had done at every previous duel in which he had been engaged," he fired his pistol into the air instead of into his opponent.  So from this, we learn several things: One, the Duke is not only DEVILISH but also BADASS*, as he can stand perfectly still after being shot.  Also, he's been in lots of duels before.  And finally, and most puzzling, he has never actually killed his opponent in a duel (although that's kind of the point of a duel?  I think?) - but neither has he been killed.  So, I guess everyone in the area is a crappy shot?  Looks like his current opponent (For Shame Oliver) is the most able duellist so far: at least he managed to shoot someone in the leg.  He will probably end up with a new career as a shooting instructor.

*Despite the fact that is name is - no kidding - JOCELYN.  His buddy is named CONAN.  Mary Balogh likes giving her male characters awesome names!

Nothing else very interesting happens in the next few pages.  Duke Jocelyn heads home to his private doctor to have his leg attended to.  He gives the servant girl (who is as yet nameless) a coin to make up for her being late for work.  Also of note, she is described thusly: "her cheeks ... flushed with anger.  They paled at his words, and she stared at him wide-eyed, her lips compressed in a hard line."  So apparently she does have a head, despite what the book cover would have you believe.

Next time: Servant Girl gets a name!

Big Wood

This is Thomas. Thomas is a collector. You know those little cups you get samples in at Costco? We have to keep those. This last trip to the beach was no different. Thomas found some wood. He likes wood. He carries around giant pieces of old lumber and forbids people from touching his "big wood."

Thomas found some wood on the beach. He wanted to bring it home. Our van is already loaded with junk and garbage ("It's not junk!!! It's treasure!!!") so Daddy told him if he wanted to take it home he had to carry it there himself. Fine! Except we live 2km from the beach. Up hill. And it was 8pm at night. See the water in the distance? That's not even a quarter of the way.

Thomas is very determined. He did have to stop and rest at this park, on the slide. He still has most of the wood he started with. One or two small pieces were stashed on the way up, "for later."

Look at that face. That's sheer contentment right there. He's over three quarters of the way here.

Almost home! Thomas carried his favorite wood (the biggest piece!) the whole way. It is currently stashed on the front step and he has done nothing with it aside from admire it and reassure himself that it is still there. His arms were really sore afterwards, and he couldn't figure out why.