Friday, August 23, 2013

Important things to say


"I'm a doctor, Mummy."

She is wearing a green sweater/cardigan/shrug thingy, a green ruffled sleeveless blouse, a flowy pink top with spaghetti straps as a skirt, striped capris length leggings, leg warms tied around her ankles, and pink rubber clogs. Oh, and a scarf tied around her waist.

"Why are you a doctor?"

"Because I am. Now I'm going to go swimming naked and then put it back on when I'm done, because I'm a doctor."

It is hot outside and even hotter inside.

Mary, age 6 3/4


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(From the bathroom, while pooping)

"HEY DADDY! Do you want to give one of my toothbrushes to the Phillipines because they hardly have any there!?"

Thomas, age 5

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"If you don't let me have two candy things... I will cry!"

"Do you want one of the little chocolate bars?"

"The only thing that will make me happy is one of the other candy things."

-Thomas

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Cam, 5: "Mommy, if you don't get me what I want I'm not going to be good. But that's your choice."

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"And guess what, Mary? We also get no water park, no fun, and no trampoline. Just cleaning. Clean clean clean."

-Thomas

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"Look! I'm as tall as your nipple!" (Shouting) "Everybody look! I'm as tall as Mom's nipple! Hooray!"
Gwen, age 5

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Thomas: Well, you don't know everything, Mary!

Mary: No one does!

Thomas: Except God. God knows everything, because he made everything, so he knows about it.

Mary: Yeah... and 1 + 1 should equal 11.

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Mom: How about you finish tidying up?
Gwen: How about you stop talking to me?

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After dropping various items several times, Gwen was frustrated.  In fine sarcastic form, she shouted:
"REALLY?  How about I just drop everything in the world right out of my hands?  That would be AWESOME.  NO IT WOULDN'T."

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Evelyn: Look it, Mommy! I make it!
Mom: What did you make?
Evelyn: Poison!

Evelyn, age 23 months

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"Umm, Daddy? Do we have any bacon?"

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After giving my kids some lemonade I asked:
Mom: Que se dice?? (What do you say?)
Sophia, 8: gracias (thank you)
Adrian, 3: cheers!

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Mom: "Sam, put that way! We don't want to see that! Pull up your pants!"
Sam, 3: "EVERYBODY WANTS TO SEE IT!"

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Cam, 5: "Mommy, remember--the most important part of my costume is the horny hat. DON'T FORGET THE HORNY HAT. And it doesn't have a point, it has a HOLE."

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Mary: "Daddy, if you lost a bit of weight you'd just look pregnant."

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