I thought it would be hairier...

Penis graffiti in Pompeii,
because I think it's funny.

So on the continuing theme of Fifty Shades, a conversation between Laura and I prompted me to send the following message to my first romantic conquest.

This question needs to be prefaced by some explanation, although perhaps that just makes it more awkward.
So my friend Laura and I have been blogging away together and discussing the (de)merits of Fifty Shades of Grey. She is reading a different blog that provides a play by play synopsis of each and every chapter. She mentioned that she stopped reading in disgust when she reached the chapter when the protagonist has sex for the first time. Her reaction to seeing a penis was "holy cow" and Laura thought this was pretty stupid. I replied that there are many things wrong with the book, but that much didn't bother me as it may have been my reaction the first time I saw a penis had I not already been looking at porn for years. I do not remember what I actually said. So...
...
...?

We are still friends, and given that there is an ocean apart, and our usual general lack of communication, this hasn't caused any animosity for our respective significant others. (actually, I'm just assuming on his part... Scott doesn't care). Still, it's a rather personal question and while I was pretty sure he'd take it with the humor in which it was intended, I was still nervous. Fortunately, several hours later I woke up to my reply.

Lol!
Best Facebook message ever
You expressed surprise that it wasn't hairier. That's all I can recall. Pretty sure I'd remember if you'd said anything like "holy cow".

It's so flattering and romantic, it has to be what I said. I have no memory of it, but apparently thirteen years later he does, which means I must have left quite an impression. I am, of course, a goddess, but it's nice to have that confirmed. All I remember is high-fiving like 12-year-olds afterwards, which he does not remember.

I decided to poll others to get a variety of responses.

• Pretty sure I giggled, or was silently shocked.
• Disgust. So I didn't say a thing. Haha!
• Even though I can't remember that far back of what I thought, I CAN tell you that when I first saw my first uncut guy I was like WTF! What's wrong with your penis (in my head of course I said that). I had never seen or even heard of a penis being uncut. I wasn't too experienced when it came to the human anatomy. I never did anything with the guy because I was mortified. Fast forward to today.. My hubby is un-cut and damn he is the best I have ever had in bed! lol.
• Disgust, horror, wouldn't look at it. It was circed.
• I remember thinking it was smaller than I expected (not [husband], for the record!) and I also didn't really see what the big deal was...penises, in general, aren't all that nice looking, kwim?
• I don't even remember what I thought, lol. It was usually dark? It looked like I expected, I guess. ETA with one guy I noticed the curve, lol.
• I don't know because I am old and can't remember, but it wasn't anyone uncut.
• I thought to myself now I know why they call it the one eyed monster...

So... what did you say? Comments and contributions welcome, anonymous or otherwise. Men are welcome to reply with their first reaction to seeing female genitalia (I will not say vagina, because unless you're a doctor you're most likely not actually seeing the vagina).